9/6/2018 - Kurt Schlichter Townhall.com
Socialism’s legacy is
heaps of bloody corpses scattered across a landscape of hunger and despair, but
the youthful neo-commie hipsters infesting our colleges and coastal cities want
to give it another try here and now since they’re smart and they won’t screw it
up this time. Uh huh. Because when I look at millennials, I see a generation of
achievers – achieving unbroken eye contact with their iPhones, achieving
hitherto unimagined heights of undeserved self-regard, and achieving convincing
their parents to support them into middle age. If anyone can make socialism
work – by which I mean the pipe dream of it not being a slaughterhouse
of soul crushing tyranny – it’s these winners. At least that’s what Chet
thinks.
Chet’s my unicorn.
Me? I think I’d prefer
freedom. Yes, I definitely prefer freedom. And I think that if they want to
take away my freedom, they should be ready to fight to the death. I’m not super
butch warrior guy, but still I’d rather bleed out on a pile of hot brass than
live as the slave of a Chardonnay-swilling socialist ruling nomenklatura
based in Brooklyn.
Oh, I’m not kidding. I
walked around in the ruins of socialism overseas. My wife’s family escaped it.
When you talk about a socialist revolution, you better be ready to bring one
because I and a couple hundred million other patriots are not having it.
Are. Not. Having. It.
Now, the cool new
socialism of the hipster class glosses over the problem that we Normals and our uppitiness pose to their
utopian scheme, and it’s a pretty big problem. Let’s see what some of the
man-children at whatever the Chapo Traphouse podcast is say about our
bright, shiny future under socialism:
“After setting
everyone on equal footing (by seizing the billionaires’ money, socializing
their wealth, and handing the keys of production over to workers), you’re
looking at an economy that requires something like a three-hour workday, with
machines taking care of most of the drudgery; and—as our public fund pays for
things like health care, education, scientific research, and infrastructure—all
this technology actually makes work quicker, easier, and more
enjoyable.”
That’s a lot to unpack,
so let’s seize on just one aspect. “Seizing,” are we? Now, these sorry cheese
weasels do look exactly like you would expect: Stupid
beards, skinny jeans, soft hands, and dull eyes. But they don’t look
much like dudes who are likely to seize anything besides the nearest
locally-sourced muffin. Who, exactly, do they expect to do all the seizing that
will facilitate “handing the keys of production over to workers?” Now, I use to
specialize in commanding hundreds of guys with guns who actually could seize
stuff, and I have to say that I don’t think my troopers would be down with
doing the dangerous bidding of a bunch of geebos who look like they’d be
blathering about their fourth-level elf warrior with a +1 sword Dungeons &
Dragons character if they weren’t quoting selections from Marxism 4 Dummies.
They seem to be saying,
“Don’t worry, we’re only going to mess with those Monopoly men with the
monocles and top hats!” You could ask your local kulak about how that turns out
for folks like you and me, but since the socialists murdered them all I’ll need
to demonstrate why Normals are the real target in another way.
Allow me to unleash that which leftist nincompoops fear the most, besides
gainful employment and their mom walking into their room at night unannounced
while they are interacting with their computer/girlfriend.
Math.
Let’s take the richest
man ever was, Jeff Bezos. He’s got a net
worth of at least $150 billion. It not in actual dollars, though, unless he has
the world’s biggest mattress. It’s mostly in Amazon stock. We’ll just leave
aside the inconvenient issue of what would happen to Amazon’s stock value if it
were “seized” and nationalized and just assume he’s got a big pit full of
dollar bills. We take all that and split it among the 330 million Americans and
everyone gets…$454.55. Congrats. Everyone gets one payment on their 2015 Toyota
Camry. That is, unless we’re decreeing that all consumer loans are forgiven,
which is probably on the socialists’ to-so list and would mean many fewer
consumer loans going forward, but again I digress.
Divvying up the
cash seems…unhelpful. How about we put all the money toward government
spending? That would never be dropping it down a rathole because the government
is awesome. Let’s see, the 2019
U.S. budget is $4.407 trillion – with a “T” – so all of Bezos Bucks would be
about 3.4% of that. Yes, all of Bezos’s money would run the federal government
for 12.4 days.
So, after about two
weeks we’re going to need some more cash. There appear to be about
560 billionaires in the U.S. They all have less than Jolly Jeff – everyone has
less than him – but let’s count each one as having $5 billion to simplify
things. That’s $2.8 trillion. A lot of dough. But even assuming the entirety of
their assets could be converted to cash, you could fund the government at
present levels for … 232 days. That’s at present spending levels,
without all the bells and whistles and free college and doctors and kale
smoothie-makers everyone will get from Uncle Santa.
Remember, under
socialism we aren’t minting any new billionaires, so where do we go for the
money once the low-hanging billionaire fruit is picked clean? Millionaires!
A 2017 report says
there are probably 10.8
millionaires in
what would be the People’s
Republic of
America: “In 2016, there were 9.4 million individuals with net worth between $1
million and $5 million, 1.3 million individuals with net worth between $5
million and $25 million, and 156,000 households with more than $25 million in
net worth, the report says.”
Now we’re hitting
regular folks. If you have a house in Los Angeles or Washington, welcome to
millionairehood! Or a small business – lots of us are rich on paper. Well,
what’s ours is…theirs. The fact is our socialist pals are going to have to
reach way down below the 1% to find enough stuff to redistribute so that everyone
can have everything they want (but not enough to work for) while robots mop out
the toilets.
They want your
stuff. The stuff you spent years working for, saving for, sacrificing for. All
gone, to someone else, because some neck-bearded Gender Studies grad decided he
and not you should choose what happens to your property. All that effort, all
those years you spent gainfully employed, being responsible, working while
other folks played?
Too bad.
Everything you worked
for is gone, because they want it and you have it and, well, they and their
buddies got together and voted to make what’s yours theirs. You should have
thought of doing that yourself before you put in all those years working to
achieve your dreams. You should have just gotten the government to make your
dreams come true by stealing stuff from the guys who were dumb enough to work
for theirs.
The socialists seem to
assume that there’s not going to be any pushback from all these millions of
Normal Americans who are going to fund this latest socialist experiment
(Remember, this time, under these geniuses, socialism will totally work – it’s
due for a win!). We’ll sort of shrug and just give up our stuff, and our
freedom, to a bunch of 20-something adolescents because…the 20-something
adolescents really want us to.
Nah.
I’d rather fight, if
they make me. And I bet you would too. As my upcoming book Militant
Normals: How Regular Americans Are Rebelling Against the Elite to Reclaim Our
Democracyexplains,
we’re done with the endless cycle of leftists failing, blaming us for their
failures, taking our money and liberty, failing again, then announcing that
it’s our fault they failed again, and that the solution is another round of
taking our money and liberty.
I’m just not convinced
that we should give up the fruits of our decades of labor and our individual
freedom to these doofuses because they really want us to. Instead, they’ll have
to impose it on us by force, if they can. That whole thing about 300 million
guns in the hands of free Americans makes it tricky. Now do you get why they
are so intent on stripping guns from law-abiding patriots like you instead of
scummy thugs in Democrat blue cities who are actually murdering people?
You’ll be a lot easier
to rule if you’re disarmed. I wrote about what armed Americans can do to
radicals who want to crush them under the Birkenstock heel of leftist tyranny
in my
novel Indian Country. Spoiler: A nation full of armed American citizens
conducting a decentralized insurgency resisting a centralized leftist force
attempting to oppress them has the advantage.
But it’s unlikely to
come to that. Since killing me and probably you and probably a couple hundred
million other armed and militant Normal Americans would be a lot of hard work,
I think we’re pretty safe. These people aren’t much on actual effort; they
prefer to pose and whine. If they’re going to kill us and seize our stuff,
they’ll have to get off their mom’s couch and go farther than the kitchen, and
that’s a fridge too far.
But you never know, so
keep in mind, when choosing how to spend some of that money you earned working,
that no one in history who has ever faced a foe that wants him dead or enslaved
has ever had too many guns or too much ammunition.
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