6/11/2018 - Kurt Schlichter Townhall.com
The Congressional GOP,
in its finite wisdom, has taken a look at the Democrats blowing their Blue Wave
and decided that the smart play to exploit their unexpected (and undeserved)
improving prospects by embracing the exact opposite of what the
militant Normals sent them to Washington to do because…because they are
establishment Republicans and stupid is what they do.
These geniuses have
considered all the possible ways to use the limited legislative time available
to implement a conservative agenda and decided that the big legislative
priority during the ramp-up to the midterms must be handing citizenship to a
bunch of future Democrats who shouldn’t even be here in the first place – and all
over the thunderous objections of GOP voters. Paul
Ryan’s eager to bring it up again because he’s super savvy in some
alternate universe, and if he won’t, the Squish Squad wants to force a vote on
comprehensive immigration capitulation via a discharge petition they would sign
in collaboration with the Democrats.
Well, discharge this,
jerks.
Apparently, we’ve been
unclear about where we GOP voters stand on this issue, so let me clarify it for
you members of the Congressional Nitwit Caucus.
No freaking amnesty.
No amnesty.
None.
No “comprehensive
reforms.”
No compromises.
No amnesty.
But the aspiring
valedictorians of DACA…
No! Deport them!
But the children!
No! Deport them!
But Jesus says…
No! Deport them! And
stop trying to Jesusplain
immigration at us!
But our rich RINO
donors want a never-ending stream of cheap labor that is terrified to speak up
and is therefore pliable, unlike you uppity citizens who they would actually
have to pay a decent wage…
No! Deport them!
What is this
fascination with allowing foreigners who have disrespected our laws to jump the
line ahead of the aspiring Americans who played by the rules? Why are the
GOP Fredocons so
set on ignoring their own voters’ repeated howls of protest? We know why the
Democrats do it – Normal Americans have grown angry (some
might say militant) and refuse to obey their liberal betters, and therefore
they must be replaced by an imported electorate that knows its place.
But the Republicans?
What’s their excuse? Why are Congressional Republicans so much more effective
at implementing the liberal agenda than the Democrats are? Why do they insist
on risking electoral suicide time and time again by trying to jam amnesty down
our throats after we keep telling them to jam it elsewhere?
We get why the Chamber
of Commerce types want amnesty. They love the idea of a serf class whom they
can pay pennies and then let us make up the difference through the social
spending we have to shell out because these robber barons won’t pay their
coolies’ full freight. Five years ago, illegals
cost us taxpayers over $134 billion with a “B,” all so the Paul Ryan Party
can please its corporate masters, and so Chuck Schumer’s crew can get some more
votes and its elite members can get some cheap housekeepers. Basically,
Republicans want you to dish out more dough in taxes so check-writing fatcats
can get docile laborers and so a liberal couple in Santa Monica can pay meager
wages to that nice Guatemalan lady who is raising Kaden and have their
lifestyle subsidized by you.
How do you say “hard
pass” in Spanish?
Let’s not even mention
the crimes the Normals endure and the elite avoid living behind the guardhouses
of their gated communities, from fender benders by uninsured illegals to MS-13
mass murders. At the end of the day, the people pushing illegal immigration
cash in on votes or, well, cash, and we get handed the check.
How about no?
How about we enforce
our laws?
How about we normal
Americans demand that we get a say in who comes here and who doesn’t?
And how about the
Republicans stop trying, again and again and again, to undermine and undercut
the will of the party’s base?
No amnesty.
None.
Don’t like it? Go home.
This is our country and
this is our choice. You’ve proposed radically changing our nation by allowing
massive, uncontrolled immigration, legal and illegal. And we’ve said “Hell no.”
Do what your voters
tell you, Republicans. Stop trying to make amnesty happen. It’s not going to
happen.
Now, maybe in
Washington you think a bunch of illegal aliens worried about being deported is
an emergency. Out here in America, we don’t. We think it’s a good start.
Yes, the president has
talked about letting the DACA people stay, but as part of a deal that makes
real changes to this broken system. Whether that deal would be worth it is
arguable, but at least the president is demanding real enforcement. But Team
Amnesty can’t even do that – they imagine that somehow we’re going to go for
another round of “Okay, we’ll let a bunch of future Democrats become
citizens even though they committed a crime coming here, and then later someday
maybe possibly we might think about perhaps studying the contingency of sort of
keeping the promise we made to stop illegal immigration the last time we
amnesty-conned you.”
I have a better idea.
Ready?
Get the GOP base
excited and happy going into the midterms by not doing the precise
opposite of what we sent you to Washington to do.
Whoa.
Kooky, right?
No. Sane. We can’t blow
the midterms by alienating our own people on behalf of aliens. Only a bunch of
morons could think that’s a smart play.
Oh. Wait. Let me
introduce the Republican Party.
No amnesty. We’re
serious, folks. In fact, we’re
positively militant.
Don’t push us. You
won’t like how it ends in November.
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